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What toppings are needed to create the perfect burger?
Assuming your date’s not a vegetarian, get the conversation going with a pretty innocent — but telling — question.
Her list could include travel plans, career goals, personal milestones, or adrenaline-junkie adventures.
Or she could just be psyching herself up to finally try escargot.
Should the relationship evolve, there will be plenty of time to get into weighty topics. When a person reveals too much too soon, it can give a false sense of intimacy.
In reality, premature or exaggerated revelations are due more to boundary issues, unresolved pain, or self-centeredness than true intimacy. Maybe your first date questions will lead you to discover that this person is your soul mate—or maybe not.
For knowing each other well, you must ask the right dating questions at the right time.
The best communication occurs with an even and equal exchange between two people. Getting to know someone new is like peeling an onion one thin layer at the time. But some people, overeager to get into deep and meaningful conversation, go too far too fast.
Think of conversation as a tennis match in which the players lob the ball back and forth. They ask personal or sensitive questions that put the other person on the defensive. If feeling inhibited is a problem for some people, others go to the opposite extreme: they use a date as an opportunity to purge and vent.
For instance, you cannot ask something very personal on the first date.
On the other hand, you must not be bland when you know the person you are dating.